Where Can You Turn…?
…when the bills are due, the kids are acting out, loneliness and doubt are creeping into your quiet hours—and you’re handling it all alone? If your partner is in the military, these challenges may be the greatest that your relationship will ever face. Now is the time you need answers, resources, and understanding. This is the book that will give them to you.
Military wife and U.S. Army veteran Shellie Vandevoorde has penned a practical, compassionate guide to help military couples cope with the separation of active deployment. Now updated and expanded, Separated by Duty, United in Love is infused with her years of experience, offering sound and comforting advice from someone who’s been there. Vandevoorde explores real-life issues and shares invaluable insights on the best ways to:
- Keep the lines of communication open while your partner is away
- Address your children’s fears as you cope with your own
- Juggle finances and other household duties
- Find the balance you desperately need
- Cope with post-traumatic stress, injury and other challenges when a spouse returns from war
- Utilize military resources and support groups to help yourself through the toughest times
You are not alone. Separated by Duty, United in Love gives you the tools and the encouragement you need to help your military relationship survive—and thrive.
“The most important book military families ever pick up."
--General (Ret.) Chuck Horner, USAF, Air Commander Desert Storm
"Your mother couldn't have told you better! Honest, sage advice from someone who has truly been-there-done-that....from both sides of the separation. Should be required reading for military spouses. You'll find yourself saying, 'Whew, so this is normal!' at every page."
--Sarah Smiley, syndicated columnist and author of Going Overboard: The Misadventures of a Military Wife
“Well-written and conceived, something of value not just military couples but everyone in a relationship trying to balance family and career.”
--Mark Bowden, author of Black Hawk Down
“Separated by Duty, United in Love is an essential handbook for military families. Shellie Vandevoorde demystifies the deployment process and passes on valuable advice from the “trenches,” military families who have successfully endured and grown closer despite their separation.”
--Sara Rosett, author of Moving Is Murder, A Mom Zone Mystery
“A ‘Must Read’ for everyone in or associated with the military! A well organized, thought provoking, insightful guide for the everyday ‘living apart’ that each member of the military is subject. I enjoyed your book so much I could not put it down until finished.”
--Brigadier General, USAF (Ret) Dennis Leadbetter
“What I learned in 25 years with the Marine Corps—the hard way—is in this book. Separated by Duty, United in Love is a frank and truly practical manual of everything you need to know about keeping marriage, family and your sanity strong through military life. Vaulable, time tested, and a much-needed resource for new and not-so new military couples.
--Amy J. Fetzer, Marine wife and author of Perfect Weapon
“This is a clearly written practical guide to coping with separation which should be required reading for military spouses.”
-- DDS MS, Colonel USA, (Ret) Michael B. Dayoub
“I wish I had your book during my 11 years of military experience. I think it would have saved me a lot of heartache. For those seeking more than the Socials or meetings that the military offers to get through emotional and trying times.”
-- Waynette Spinzig, SSG USA, (Veteran)
“I feel that if military wives had access to your book it could provide them with REAL practical advice for handling deployments. Your book could easily be that desperately needed ounce of prevention that military wives need.”
-- Maggie, “Active duty mental health care provider and wife of Active duty Soldier”
“Anyone needing an insight into coping with a long-distance relationship should read Separated by Duty, United in Love. Shellie Vandevoorde has put together a wonderful resource.”
--National Military Family Association
“Frank, honest, personal . . . like sitting in on a party of spouses. Through these true tales emerges an understanding that you are not alone.”
--The Officer (Reserve Officers Association of the United States)
"A practical and compassionate guide to help couples cope."
-- Wings of Gold, a publication of the Association of Naval Aviation
“A wonderful and comprehensive guide to long-distance relationships for military couples. In this updated edition, Mrs. Vandevoorde addresses the concerns of both service member and spouse during every phase of a deployment from pre-deployment mind games to issues with managing homecoming expectations. I highly recommend this book for newly married couples and veterans alike.”
--Military Writers Society of America (MWSA)